I'm going On to my 2nd Year Anniversary!

With this here blog. (,:
I felt like this Year I abandoned you guys, funny how I write like you guys actually check all of my posts. It's ok though, I'm used to talking to myself, It's not creepy or anything. It helps me get my thoughts together. Sometimes, when I'm saying things out loud, I realize how stupid my thoughts actually sound, and then that brings me to realize that if I think I sound stupid, than I probably am being stupid.
I'm the quiet type, in a crowd, chances are you wouldn't notice me. It's not like you'd want to approach me anyways, I probably wouldn't be so welcoming. I'm observing, I notice things and hear things others wouldn't even remember they did or said. which also means, I'd expect people to be as observing towards me, most of the time though, they could give a fuck less. Which is why I limit my thoughts to a chosen few, why should I express myself so freely, when you don't even listen? Which probably explains why I have a blog, I don't expect anything out of it, comment and feedback are nice, but just the act of typing out my thoughts and seeing them on a screen is relieving to me. It also nice when I go back in time, it reminds me of certain points in my life and what I was going through. It makes me laugh at what I said back then, and how I used to think. I don't know why I'm explaining this, a blog probably works the same way for the rest of the world.
I guess I'm just reminiscing, the conclusion of thus another year of my life span isn't all that exciting to me, other than the fact that I eat yummy foods. But things will be the same tomorrow morning, what the fuck is a year anyways? It's just a certain amount of time, who cares though? No one knows exactly when it started, so no one knows exactly when it will end. Time is different for all of us. But if we're gonna talk about time, let me just put out that I've given priority to the wrong things this year, and when I say ALL the wrong things, it's because I haven't been giving priority to my faith. It actually saddens me, the most important thing in my life, is my relationship with God. But I've somehow managed to stray from him, I used to walk hand in hand with him, and although I know how to get back to him, I keep walking in the wrong direction. I'm just like a crab, walking backwards instead of forwards. Work and school. School and work. That's all I've been focused on, especially work. Well I guess it symbolizes the evil of this world, so what the heck, why am I trying to avoid the real word; Money. I've been so captivated by money, I just want to keep making more and more, I want to see the digits in my bank account rise. As the digits rise, my faith lowers. And I know this, It's like I'm looking at myself destroy myself. So, when does my wise self step in? It's funny, I'm talking about myself as if I'm not me, I'm really not me though.

I don't recognize the heart I'm walking with, I've lost my soul, deep within me.