2K9+1

I don't feel like sayin' "Goodbye".
Cause in reality-things won't be quite different tommorow.
Only thing that would trully have changed is the date.
(+1] on the year. ['10]
Oh ten.
Maybe just the fact that i work tommorow is still gettin' me.
Haha, but nontheless I AM happy and very thankful to have been given
another year of Life.
Whether i truly lived it or not--that's my mistake.
It's still get's me how some people don't or wont have a nice dinner or friends to welcome the new year in.
So all my wishes and prayers go to those who might feel lonely tonight.
To the homeless person I saw out on the street today--picking out cans from the trashcan.
To those who don't feel loved.
To those who walk through life feeling unnoticed.
I do notice you--i may be too coward to approach you--but You're in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless You.

'Hello tommorow'-Tony Park.

*peace.

P.S oh yehh this might very well be my last post of the year,*sniff*sniff&tear.
How wonderful and much more interesting my year has been.
Now if you'll excuse me--i think i'd like to go through some of my older posts =]

In 3 years.

-oh do i wonder. if we sorta lost touch, or decided to go diff. paths, i guess-and "accidentally" bumped into each other one lovely day.
wat would it be like?
Would the same emotions still appy or would new ones revive?
Because i'm not kiddin' wen I tell you, that i would.
Forget you, i don't think so.
If anything, i'd remember.
Well--only time will tell.
(:

Slurppp!Jack!!!

-haha. today was pretty legit.


lol. Wat a surprisee towards the end.


oh yeah and "Nothing On You"-B.o.B ft. Bruno Mars


plays on the radio now?! wtf?!


i hate it wen it gets killed like tht. :/


But yehhhh tommorow's just chillin' like a muthfxxkin villian at home.


and finishing Homowork.

:D

*Peace.

They're here!

1 day before the designated date.
oh do i love FeDex
:D
wohoo.

Breathe In-

& let it out.
Hold my hand and close your eyes.
let me kiss you to the sky,
While I orbit through your mind like satellites.
-Audio Push.

*Well yeah I can't say this wasn't comin'
funny how I felt it comin'.
The feeling i'm feelin' isn't what I thought I would.
If anything i'm kinda dissapointed with how I feel,
i don't think i SHOULD be feeling like this,
maybe it's because deep down in my head-
I was prepared for this.
It's just my ears weren't as focused.
Just ignoring the tones in the voice.
But yeah, I can honestly say i'm okay.
If anything, I'd say i'm Blank.
It's better than total dissapointment and pain i'd say.
New Year-Same shit.
Things are still the same- So we say.
Don't worry i'm not mad, sorry if that's what my appearance suggested.
But honestly i'm fine-i knew it was coming.
Silly me to avoid it is all.
But what's been needed to say is said. So now let's live on.
I can't move on-Sorry-not quite yet.
I'll move on when the destined time comes,
but right now, at this stage in the play,
I'll decide to take that risk.
So you can mark those words,
and tell me it's my fault later on.


*peace.

damn,

I don't wanna go home, yet.
*sigh.
Well hey at least tommoro's christmas eve :)

And let the party begin.<3

westminster,

Is where I be!
Well its where I've been for the past three days and two nites.
That qualifies me as a resident rightt?
Like I said in previous post 'twas no jingless.
-duhh, of course tht's a codeword for something else.
But I'm pretty sure if u think about it and rhyme it w/ somtin u'll figure it out quite easily 'tis not too difficult.

Well yeah I saw Quest Crew
*they're fxckkinn amazing!!!
Its one thing to see them on the TV screen but its another to see them live.
Oh yeah I'm done xmas shoppin.
One thing I did notice,
$it's a lot easier for me to spend a sum of money on other ppl.then it is to do so for myself. I don't even hesitate to purchase something for others, but when its for me, I'm like 'idk Ali; you sure about this? Don't be caught up with materrials now.'
Eghh idk-im still debating whether that's an up or a minus.
But yeah blogging a mobile device aint tht easym
Youty dee thatV

OHHHHH!
And for JUlianne.
(Sorry if I spellt ur nme wrong)
Nahh I deff. appreciate ur insight.
I love defferent views and opinions.
It definitley nocks me off my pity horse.
It's a reality check like
"Knock it off silly, ur trippin out bout something so minor-it's called Life"$


And I wish you a veryy merry christmas and a splendid new year!!god bless you and ur fanily.

*peace

The Soul is born knowing,
The Heart is born searching,
and The Body is born dead.


And it seems in this lifetime happyness can't be measured but only enjoyed,
with its brief moments when it is present.
At least that seems to be the theme in my story.
It's for those brief moments when my dead body is sparked to life,
and just like the body can't quite run on pure sugar;
My soul chooses to not run souly on happyness.
Because it's sadly gotten used to the healin' process that goes
with sadness and pain and such.
'Porque Much Miel Empalaga'
Because it foolishly believes that the more it endures,
the easier it will get;
but that's false adverstisement, even I know that.
It never get's easier, recovering from this dissapointment, this revival of faithlessness.
But stupid is as stupid does, which is why I'd call my heart stupid, foolish, idiot.
I hate you, Your ignorance, it is so bliss.
The weakness; amusing to those who view.
But i'm done with the pity, these words, these words, are merely that.
Just words. Words can probably make something sound higher than it is,
but let's be real here,
they could NEVER replace actions.
Or lack of them.
Sadly they are not in style this season.
Good thing I don't follow trends.
soo i sayy FxCK YOU.
FUCKiTYY FUCK.
haha that felt good.
My heart longs a visit to Westminster, where it belongs.
Where the eye feasts on asian delicacies ;)
But despite it being that season, foolishly faithful as I am, there will be no jingles...bells. So ignorant you are,You.

Peace.

So Make Laugh.

Over and over and over again.
That way my tummy will not feel the swarm of bees buzzing around.
The only pain it'll feel is the contracting of muscles as I laff my ass off.
So let's just all laugh like trained fools.
Spare me, But i'll pass.
Because I'd rather hurt and momentarily be saddened by the Truth.
Than to be happy as a fool.
So now i say; Was it really Fool's Gold?
And I thought i'd strucken Rich.
Only to have someone tell me what i had wasn't worth Sh!*t.
So Now I ask You; Can you really make me laugh, again?
Like You Used To?
And Only Time Will Tell.



#this vid sure mad me lafff<3
VVVVVVVVVV
Grrrr. shhtxxs bein GAY!
anyway's here' the Link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RD_AHFjJLXs

What Would Jesus Buy?

-He wouldn't buy anything.

+so i'm watching this show on the Sundance chanel,
and i can't help but agree w/ wat it has to say.
We're so into shopping, it can actually be clinically proven to be addicted to it.
"I don't care if i go broke,
it's for my babies and i'm gettin' it for them"

wow, really?
whoaaaa. I kno i like to shop, i plead guilty.
but at least i'm not at the point where i'm in debt, yet.
But honestly I have a problem.
So this christmas, I will pledge to not be consumed by all the propaganda.
Cause we may THINK we're consumers,
when really we are being consumed.

A Time For Everything;

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
-Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

&& so there was the worst of times
and there was the best of times...

Let's measure up.

Just Because You got 1 or 2 more tricks,
than the dancer beside you,does not make you a better dancer.
Just because you got 1 dollar or 2 more than your neighbor,
does not make you a better person.
Just because you're 1 or 2 shades lighter than Your fellow members of the human race,
does not make you more Humane.
Humanity is not measured by what you have.
It's measured by what you give.
So let me ask you something?
What are you giving to Humanity?


P.S:I've posted 100 posts already. haha yayy!! At least I did it before the year ended right?
:]

OK, You're lookin' a bit confused now?

No, No, don't worry, You're brain is actually functioning right this once.
and you DID hear that correctly (:
You don't understand?
Egggh, so how 'bout I let you marinate that over night.
Maybe, Just maybe, It all might sink in.
Tooodles<3


-Feelin' a bit cheery today. Ok, maybe more than just a little bit.
more like, a little bit like alot.
Yes, there is a reason. Wohoo. don't you love the holidays?

"It's that season. And girls are complaining"-Rell.
^^Well, not all of us(;


*Peace.

But things aren't the same anymore.

I've heard that soo many times. Countless.
In fact, i've said it before. But as this year is fastly coming to an end.
It only makes sense to laugh at myself for that. Well I mean, of course things aren't the same, nor will they ever go back to it.
Change is part of improvement-and call me practical but i think it's safe to say we, if not most, of us want to improve.
Watever area in one's life it is, improvement is sought after.
Honestly though, sometimes the fact that I WILL change, not that I MIGHT , I will change is frightening.
It's not possible to go through a whole year of experiences, heartbreaks, drama, wat have you, without being changed in some way.
Even if it's a glimpse of subtle change, You're changed.
And thanks to the plain but so true statement JAY KV told me:

"I didn't have a choice.
Get effed over real bad and you'll end up with the same mentality as me"
Check 'er out: http://wtfreads.blogspot.com/

That's real talk. && Yes I know It's JUST LIFE, GET OVER IT! Sometimes i won't have a choice in life, it's called destiny.
And i'm not tryin' to Diss you JAY KV; because you're right, but i look at it and i don't want to change into
someone who doesn't Love that easily, or is so cautious. Because I DO WANT TO BE LOVED.
AND I WANT TO LOVE TO.
In fact; For me it's necessity.
Without feeling loved, I wouldn't be able to function.
But What happens when i do get effed over?
Is it just the end of Love for me?
I mean it's fact I WILL change into someone different.
i don't yet know who i'll turn into, because i sure wont' be ME.
The one person who's eyes I stare into each morning.
I'll be a product of someone's else's damage.
I'd have lost a part of me, a part of my loving soul; who foolishly allowed this one person;
the wrong person; to take a piece of myself which I handed them so wilingly.
Only to have them stare me in the eye and laugh right at me.
Compassion nowhere in sight.
What then?

Correct a wise man

&& he'll grow wiser.
Correct a stubborn man; and he'll grow to be your enemy.

-unfortunately i'm sometimes on the stubborn side of the spectrum.
Especially when it comes to my father;
Ok, yes, i kno Father's tend to be 'MR.know it all'
but my father takes it to a whole other level. real talk.
I can't even express how I:View/feel/Think about certaing things.
because he'll snap and say something along the lines of "that's a stupid way to view things!"
or "Can't you use your brain?"
Which is why I probably don't have a connection with him anymore.
Father=Loving, caring, compasionate.
Father is not= Judging totalitarian.


*peace.

I don't want to Fall In Love.

Because it seems everyime someone falls in love, It's with the wrong person.
Allowing myself to Fall in love w/ someone, idk I'd like to think of myself as a stronger character,
then to just allow some silly tingly feeling in my stomach to make judgement for me.
Fall-thats such a weak verb, so unwilling.
By Accident.

Eggh, if i'm ever In Love, Idk maybe I'd just like to fool myself into believing
I can somehow manage to Step into it or
maybe even glide.
Fly- that'd be surreal.




*Peace.

I heard 'em Say

"I Hate You!
I really really Hate You!"

Well call me sensitive, but I took that personally:/

*sigh. I mean I definitely get the feeling that We're on the same planet,

I just think they're perhaps located in different universes.

What Do i Look Like?

The Wizard of Oz?
You need a Brain?
You Need a Heart?
Take It.
Take Everything I have.
-Breaking Dawn.

*ok. So today was Grrrrrr! Once again;maybe just T.o.m.

I HATE t.o.m.

oh and i didn't go Black friday shoppin'.

Day was soo Slow-Mo.

Still have to go christmas shopping though.

+interesting Words of wisdom Co-Worker, Jesus, Told me.

'If you cant, Don't grow up.

I mean, don't be in such a hurry to be like an adult.

Enjoy being young.

B/c Trust me, being in such a hurry,

it can ruin your life.'

P.S Fellazz!: So wat's a good Christmas gift to buy a Dude.? Suggestions PLEASE!!

Maybe it's just T.O.M's Fault.

But i'm feeling kinda crappy today :/
i mean i look great. It's just i feel not soo good.
That one feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, that foreboding feeling that something wrong is goin' to happen.
Like i'm going to lose something.
&& this anxiety is just a pre-sympton to the pain
i will have to endure.
*sigh. watever it is that will happen, watever it is that HAS to happen.
Just.Happen.Already.
Get it Over With. Pain is obviously unavoidable.
I'm ready.

Screw Taylor Lautner...

I Found MY favorite Werewolf
:]
Alex Meraz
Yumm.


AND He Dances?
Alex Dancing.

Perfection at its finest!!!


He's married though, with a kid.
*Sigh, the good go fast.

Item #1 On My Wishlist.

I love love love this soundtrack.
definitely my type of music, just relax, read a book, think.
It's on my X-mas wishlist, but most likely i'll just supply it myself.
i usually buy my own Gifts anywayss
:]

1. Meet Me On The Equinox- Death Cab For Cutie*
2. Friends- Band Of Skulls
3. Hearing Damage- Thom Yorke
4. Possibility -Lykke Li*
5. A White Demon Love Song- The Killers
6. Satellite Heart- Anya Marina
7. I Belong To You [New Moon Remix] Muse
8. Rosyln Bon Iver & St. Vincent*
9. Done All Wrong- Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
10. Monsters- Hurricane Bells
11. The Violet Hour- Sea Wolf
12. Shooting The Moon- Ok Go
13. Slow Life [with Victoria Legrand]- Grizzly Bear*
14. No Sound But The Wind- Editors*
15. New Moon [The Meadow]- Alexandre Desplat

The End.


*PeaCe.

I mean, i wasn't around during the 80's

But seems the 80's era of hip-hop was More Better.

"When Hip-Hop was about talking about something,
when studied masters taught eager listeners how to get their hustle on.
When being innovative ranked higher on the totem pole than whose mold you were rocking as your won." -The Source.

&& that's fact. Music is definitely too much talk about "Money to blow" and "gettin' Bitches". Recently checked out one of PhyOuttaMind's Posts, definitely funny-this video i saw-but what they said caught my curiosity.
they mentioned how to kno if you're successful it's how many "bitches" you get, or who recognizes you. I mean really? You're pursuing a Musical career, b/c you wanna get "Hoes"?
Or you want to be known?
What about the part where music sent a mesage? Where it inspired people.
Idk.
But i DO have to say, big Ups to Pitbull. He for sure brought my mood up.

"'I'm not trying to spend the most Money' he says justifying his obvious breech of the unwritten rapper code concerning the flaunting of wealth. 'I'm trying to be the happiest'"

P.s Did you notice the CD and Commentary in this? Jane Scheffer-i think that's how you spell it-writing. wth? English is definitely influencing me. Who Woulda known.

His Hands Tightened Under My Jaw.

I opened my eyes, and his face was inches away from mine.
My heart fluttered, my stomach dropped--I tried to breath, but my lungs did not obey.
-The Host.

So, did I mention, this book is worth it?
:)

"[He] Buzzin' Like a Fly

On Shit To You.

And there's somethin' when I slide up into you
So comfortable
You come for me and I'll come for you
I'll meet you in the middle
Like a twinkie's fillin'."
-Shwayze'Hit it'



+Random. just listenin' to musiccc...
lalala.

*Peace.

The Ugly Truth.

-So i've become an Avid blogger lately.
well not like some people on here but i mean,
alot for my sake.
Stay at home weekend, well my friend's house,
feels veryy homely :]
nothing like one of those cozy up on the coch and watch movies, night.


Do you like
green eggs and ham?
I do not like them, Sam-I-am.
I do not like
Green eggs and ham.
-Dr.Seuss

I love that book:]

He Squeezes My Hand,

And My Heart Punches Against My Ribs.
It's Just Like Pain, This Pleasure.
-The Host

I love this book. Yes, it's a little confusing in the beggining.
But it all wraps up towards the end.
I'm Re-reading the book, which is definitely surprising.
I seldom read books more than once.
So if i'm revisiting it, it means it's worth it.
Anyways, back to my book.
Goodbye Loveslies..

Stupid Human Worm Babies.

Howw cute. :]
I do wish this show stil aired.

Zim: Be alert GIR. On this planet, we are surrounded by danger and MADNESS!
GIR: Ooh I like madness!


-----------

Zim: By using these pieces of scrap metal, I shall fashion a compass, using this planet's own magnetic field against it. Now! Witness the power of my compass!
[compass attaches itself to GIR's chest]
GIR: Aw. It likes me!

Award Nomination.

Thanks to jay Kv. for the Nomination<3


To accept this award:
Post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award, and his or her blog link.
Pass the award to 5 other blogs.
Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been chosen for this award.

I Nominate:
1. Precious Ariana.-Truly Amazing.
2. Cartier Universe.-Dope items.
3.Shawn Washington.-Funny, unique dude.
4. Eccentric Souls.-Realness.
5. Tony Park-Hasn't posted as of lately, but definitely Love Him.

*Peace.

I don't Speak French....

But I'll Toungue You Down...

You Know that

I Love You.
But sometimes,
I just Don't Like You.
:]



*Auroroa borealis-Northern Lights.
I seriously want to travel all the way to Alaska just to see this,
definitely one my list of things to do before Dieing.
Beautifull -_-

A post for

Bloggings sakee...
trynaa finish one body paragraph.
Have i mentioned English isn't my thing?
I'm more of a math Persona.
It is wat it is,
if it's not wat it's supposed to be you can always figure out a way to get there.
English-Agghhh that's rocket science to me.
you got your diction, syntax, writing devices, tones blahh blahh blahh...
and then you gotta write fckkin 5 pages explaining how the Author chose THIS WORD to make the WHOLE story sound blahh blahh blah...
here's a thought; what if the author wrote that just because he/she felt like it? huh?
why there always gotta be reason behind every simile? what if it just sounded good?
fckk. life isn't alwyas that complexxx....
and if it is...Writing no fckkin essay about a story isn't gonna make life simpler...not for me at leastt...
Excuse my venting...
on another note,
wheehhh heard this song wen i was lil kid...always like it but never really new the title...
well i kno the title(:
enjoy, i'm almost positive you've heard it before...


*peace.

Are You Scared...Just a Little Bit?

To Fall In Love?
Honestly, Yes.
Just a Little Bit.
But then I build Courage.
It's not that i'm expecting You to be perfect,
or expecting you to make the love fairytales all real.
Quite Frankly, i've given up on expectations.
The only thing I cling to is: Faith & Hope.
Hope can uprise the simplest Faith.
And Faith can produce Miracles.
Don't feel like You're all alone on this one.
I understand your fear.
But if you must know something,
know this:
I have faith that our joining of paths was not simply just 'Luck'.
I truly believe that it was destiny,
and as destiny goes we never know wat it may bring next.
But i trust you and am willing to take the risk with you,
if you make the effort to work things out,
I will do watever it takes to work this out too.
&& at the end of the day, if ends did not meet,
then it was simply not meant to be.
So If you move for me, Then I'll Move For You.


"That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life, but I've decided to give him the chance to be. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying wether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose. "
-Love and Other Disasters.

Sometimes I feel Like "3"...

"Like some days you might say something stupid, and that's the part of you that's still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama's lap because you're scared, and that's the part of you that's five. And maybe one day when you're all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you're three, and that's okay. That's what I tell Mama when she's sad and needs to cry. Maybe she's feeling three.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one. That's how being eleven years old is."

'Eleven'-Cassandra Sisneros.

Mind if We Walked Together?

You don't have to talk if you don't want to, I promise.
you don't even have to look at me.
Let's just walk side by side.
The sound of our footsteps in harmony with each other,
sound so right.
We don't have to start out right, as long as you come correct.
Let's just walk together.
You start there, and i start here, step by step our paths draw near.
The road keeps winding, twisting and turning.
Sometimes smooth and sometimes rough.
It looks so long, I start running.
A race to the finish line-If you win, I'm yours.
If I win, Your mine.
A pebble on the road. I trip. I fall.
It's All over. I lost. You won.
But you stop and pick me up. You take care of it all.
I too-Wouldn't finish without you.
How bout we slow down a bit now?
Let's just walk together.
Because Fast lane tends to lead to fast Pain.
Mile by Mile. Step by step.
Together, Let's walk.
Don't ask me where i'm going.
The destination i quite don't know.
Wait, I know. Where am I going? I'm going with you.
So Let's just walk together.



*Peace

We Look Pretty Cute...

For A Pair Of Ugly People<3

Pretty Amazing Weekend.
_If you order a cajun burger at Chili's and instead recieve the cajun pasta...
don't worryy...it happens.*as for the pasta, it's delicious.
Well First, i was hearing all these amazing reviews for 'Paranormal Activity'-that was for the first two weeks.
Now, i'm hearin awful reviews how it's not as scary as it's said to be.
I think people just killed it,
i mean, hearing all these comments bout how scarry it is and 'people running out of the theatre' and 'guys crying'.
When i go into that theatre, i'm pretty much expecting myself to shittt my pants...
sooo when it's not as scaryy as my mind is expecting.
then, that just becomes an awful movie.
It just recieved too much hype.
NO, i have not watched it. but i'm pretty sure my mind is set to wait until i can rent it.
Definitely not risking waisting some extra cash to be dissapointed.

*oh yeah, i witnessed a murder.
well not really, technically by how suspicious this man looked,
i'm sure he was up to no good.
i mean if you're walkin' all alone outside a restaurant's parking lot.
walk to the back. bend over. And. Tie ur shoe. That's not normal.haha.
Go figure.

+Piece<3

If A Freak Gets Freaky,

Then Freaky i'ma get,
Love you Like You Never Been Loved Like This...
&& My Phone Go-Ringa Ringa Ling Ling Ringa Ling.-B.E.P

_Fck Booty Calls.
Sex, in itself, is amazing.
Beautiful even.
Second to a Woman giving birth.
The process of the creation of life.
I'm just amazed at how people view it as something so insignificant.
It shouldn't be with someone you meet and that night go for it.
It should be given its required time.
I believe it SHOULD be with someone you trust & Love.
Yeah, i said it, Love.
It's also amazing how that word seems to scare some people.
Or bring up mixed emotions.
Perplexing how numerous people live with the motto "Fuck Love".
Really? I refuse to accept the fact those people really DONT WANT to be loved.
I'm not blaming or judging them, i just have HOPE for them.
Yes, unfortunately we all have gone through dissapointing situations,
but i refuse to allow those people who failed me keep me from allowing
sucha beautiful and difficult to find emotion get to me.
Nor am i the type to search for it either.
Just allow it to find me,
but once it DOES find me i'm not going to ignore it,
i will welcome it into my life.
Regardless if it's for a lifetime or few moments.

+Ringaling. Lee Daniel-*sigh.
If love were a dance,
he has all the right moves.

Fck a Quarter.

The marvelous creator of thiss movement:
This Blog right here.Click.

It's time for some CHANGE
Hmm Hmm Hmm.There is currently many things my mind is pondering at the moment.
Pondering so many it doesn't kno which one to concentrate on.
oh yeah-and i love how i reffer to mind as a whole nother being.?
Honestly, it is-The things i think about aren't always things i CHOOSE to think about;;Nor are the OTHER things THOSE thoughts lead to, thoughts i choose.
They sorta just get there.&&When i tell myself i shouldn't think-It[myMind] decides to further think about-Whatever it is at the moment.
Dear Mind,
You are oh so caniving and evil to me.
Yet i wouldn't ever want to lose you.
Losing my mind? No thank you.



*Peace.

Why must it feell soo wrong...

When i'm tryin' to do right?-K.C

And Vice Versa. Just getttin' some homowork done. No school for me tommorow.
Well not really-Loyola Marymount Staycation.
Time-an instance or single occasion for some event.
That's just the first definition which popped out.
it has countless others.
Time; the perfect way to spell out love.
True shit. The most meaningful way to let someone kno you care about them is giving them Your Time, Flowers are nice yes...But they are not as valuable as time.
They are more like " i was thinking about you, but i didn't have the time to personally tell you this..." that's why they come with a little card.
Time is wat you can't get enough of, therefore giving someone a little bit of it...those precious minutes you wont EVER get back-it means something.
Personally i've realized, My priorites, the once which are important to me;;
i haven't really been giving them enough time-Shame On Me.
But i WILL. i'll TRY, isn't enough. Kinda like that one time when you wanted ur dad/mom to come watch one of ur ______ games.
and they said "I'll TRY to make it."
it's almost a guranteed NO.
It's just sugar coated.
Man up-Say YOU WILL...and not YOU'LL TRY.


*Peace.

You can be the Model type

Skinny Wit No Appetite!_BEP.
Recently copped the album-a little late? Just a tad bit. I kno.
But yehh it's pretty legit-As far as genius goes(:
Thoughts are in'n'out_No Hamburger.
Nd just in case your minds been pondering the question:
Yes.
Everything.
All of it.
Includin' the unexpected.



"Cause if i'm callin At two in the mornin' it only meanss one thing..."


*Peace.

Can You

Meet Me Halfway?

Recently been Hit w/ ladyfriends having trouble w/ ....
none other than that dreaded word-relatioships-*yikes.
I know, i know, kinda frightening right?
Haha, for some-Yes.
the theme that seems to be the same in each story is-effort.
Well with effort also comes Pride, Affection-What have you.
Both he and she feel they are doin' most of the 'work'.
that is calling each other or being the one to say cute things,
or watever else it is that comes w/ the role of being someone else's 'significant other'.
Not the same exact plot plays along in each story, nor do the same characters star in them either.
But Personally, i think the "work" in relationships should be divided equally-that is ideastically speaking in a eutopian society w/ perfect people-but as we all kno, this is not the case on a little planet we call Earth.
Yes some beings seem to be more prideful, shy, jealous, stubborn, etc.
But i mean if ur emotionally connected to that person you should kno all these traits, and if you kno all the traits you should make the effort to work it out.
If you actually want it to work, i mean.
I know i'm not the perfect partner either, and i have, and i will continue to make mistakes, but once i recognize them, though it stabs my pride, I am willing to apologize.
Because i aknowledge i am human, and only ask to be forgiven because i am human.
Not only that, if you Truly Desire to stay with the person you are with, they and maybe only they, give you strength to push aside all the jealousy or negative feelings you have. Regardless, if it is their fault or not.
I believe that when both partners on opposite ends of the bridge realize that they make mistakes, and they WILL make mistakes, and it WILL be a rocky road, and things won't always be perfect, and that this only happens because they are human, and though they wish they were something else, they can't change that.
and maybe a little bit of fear might cave in, but with all these difficulties they are handed, they make up their mind and decide they still want to follow through with it, because they trust the other person on the bridge is willing to cross that bridge as well, Is when the opportunity of a piercingly beautiful relationshiop can begin to blossom, and produce a fruit of Love.
If and only if, they are willing to meet each other halfways.
Not forgetting the chance that Maybe one might have to run to the other side, just to give them strength to walk to the desired destination.


*Peace.

-Ohh yess, This cake i'm baking is takin' Awfully longer than it should to be ready!!!
SMH.

Ssssoo Tell me why

I keep editting my shttt.?
wtf ali? You gotta be sure of urself.
'Say wat you mean, mean wat you say'!

Ever get that feeling of somebody just watching you?
Not paranoia.
Casue i don't think 'he/she' is gonna kill me.
but more like wtf?!
ok maybe paranoid. just a little bit.
haha. it's not too bad is it?
hmm.
nahh nahh it's not paranoia.
Nobody who shouldn't be watching you is watching.
so if they are, then it's all the right people.
for all the right reasons.<3
Like Jaymes said
'God is not watching you because he is waiting for you to mess up.
He is watching you, because he can't get enough of you'


*food for thought. Or maybe just thoughts of word vomit?
**peace.

Oh, Your kinda Sidetracked?

Trust. I would love to help you.
But my map is not of this planet.
I'ma down to mars Girl.
But not of this universe.
Wanna kno the safest way to not get lost in this world?
Create Your Own.
-Ali.g


Thats some myspace sh*tt for y'all.
haha.

I Know Enough,

To know That I Don't know Much;;

P.s I Love You.

Aww, so i'm Finally watchin' this movie.
i wanted to watch it wen it came out.
but now it's on T.V.
and i LOVE It.
it's soo cute.
sad thing is that wen i think about it,
it's kinda an impossible fantasy,
to have ur husband leave you letters after he dies.
Nonetheless, still a cute movie.
oh and might i add i kinda have a secret crushh on Gerard Butler.
is it just me?
but idk why i'm attracted to that old man?
I mean ewwwhh he does look old.
but in a attractive sort of way.


*peace

Crying she left...

The one that once gave me her love.

Listenin' to some oldie cumbias i actually like them.
yess a bit too mexican, even my mom wasn't born wen they were out.
and yet they still play at the parties?
mhmmm gotta love that rythm.
How sad, to have been a part of 27 weddings,
and not once has it been yours.
SMH.

I dreamt of You...

I dreamt You were wandering in the darkness.
And So was i.
And we found each other, we found each other in the darkness...
-TGM.

I'm Stayin'

&& If Cupids Got A Gun, Then He's Shootin'-Lykke li.

Tell Me why I enjoy the sound Of Your voice soo much?
Tell Me why I enjoy talkin' to you soo much?
Explain the meaning of my denying it so.
Don't be subtle, be honest.
Tell Me you want me, as much as i want you.
Say What I want to hear.
Don't say it in a riddle, i want it crystal clear.
But most importantly,
tell me no lies.

'I wish I could Disappear

& run away from all of my fearss'
-city and colour

Speaking of fear, heard that new Drake track?
fear.d-d-doppeeizzleee.
Things Are More Than Good, They're Grrreat.
Hmm just felt i had to poastttt.


*peace.

P.s. apparently My New Nickname is 'Mother Nature'.
go figure.

Enter Galactic

-I'm hooked on that.
wow, soooooo many things.
in sooo little time.
whooa.


Once Upon a Time Baby...

*peace.

Maybe If I Was Simple In The Mind...

Everything Would Be Fine.-Scott MesCudi.

&& At the Moment, My Life's Soundtrack is
a Kaliedoscope of many pieces and fragments of many
sown together to make one beautiful and disastrous sound.
I don't think i Could Call Last night "sleep".
I just couldn't, but i wanted to drift into a sleep and let my body and mind
float away to a dream, or even a nightmare, anything but here.
As the clock ticked i could only make myself close my eyes but my mind was awake.
And my heart and soul filled with uneasiness'The feeling of foreboden disaster,
or foreseen greatness.
Either one to me, makes my heart thunder.
And as my eyes were closed i tried to think of nothing,
but that only led me to think of everything, and anything.
It's dangerous when my mind is let loose to think on it's own,
a mind is a dangerous thing.
And much more dangerous when it's playing with one's heart.
Who knos-Maybe if this happend earlier, or later, it would have been different;
Maybe then would i not have though too much about it, or would have been carless enough
to just let it freely capture my body heart and soul.
But now, in this moment in time, i am much too cautious.
but thats how destiny goes.
Regardless, Even when my thoughts were making me blu,
I closed my eyes with your thought in my mind,
and though it stirred a mixture of emotions,
I felt thats where it was meant to be.

Got me feeling Hayzee

Am i sitting next to shwayze?
Haha, awww i met my soulpartner, well my 2nd one:]
Her name is: Monica<3
this summer we'ved bonded like james bond.
Hahaa how Cheesy?
Hanging out w/ her before school starts-again:/
We've been detached.
&& i'm pretty sure once the school year begins, i'll see her less.
Oh, that reminds me-Hasn't this year gone by supppper fast?!
I mean like wow...i still remember my first post of the year.
Nd we're almost halfway there?
No Way Jose.
Right now, idk if This is a good or bad thing?
'Time will tell'


*peace.

Why do

You Do What You Do.?

Don't honor me with your lips...

'This people honors me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
in vain do they worship me,
teaching human precepts as doctrines.'
"Listen to me, all of you, and understand:
there is nothing outside a person that by going in can defile,
but the things that come out are what defile."
-Mark 7

This Gospel, i think is perhaps one that has captivated me the most. It pretty much gives me the reason why i do what i do. Cause quite honestly, i hadn't asked myself that question ina minute. a good one. the whole 60 seconds. Sometimes there are moments of doubt in whether i'm doing what's right. then i Realized i don't really care whether it is right, i care if it feels right. My friend one day while we were out for dinner told me "i don't think people follow their feelings and their soul as much as they should, they only listen to their mind and what they think is right. But honestly, our thoughts aren't really ours, they are easy to influence, they have been influenced, by society and everything around. But what you feel, that's soley yours."
&& i kno that what's keeping me going, going strong, is my faith and Soley without a doubt, My hope.

-Because i kno i shouldn't expect too much from you, and i kno i tell myself i don't expect much from you, but deep inside i can't help but feel a little faith, and hope for more.

Peace.

&& Things will never always be

Great. And i kno this.
And i Still hate this fact.
"nothings lasts forever".
How Cliche, but it's true.




*Peace.

So as was I Glancing at His Blog.

I noticed i've pretty much read
every single one of Tony Parks Posts.
even the ones from back when i didn't even follow him.
Like i said before, not a fan.
but an admiring supporter.
He writes things that are deep.
and it's not that i don't like complicated poetic writing.
cause that takes alot of thought;; and i DO love it.
but his posts and wat he says it just so straight out.
It's not like relate to all of wat he's been through or done,
but i can feel it.
Kudos to Tony P.
Keep ur head up.

Much love.
Ali.

*peace.

Just a little bit.

So, I'm pretty much sorta confused.
ha nahh fckk all the bullshit.
I kno wat i want.
Cause seriously, its annoying having to see all thses people confused and shtt. How they are all "in love" and all and how they don't kno
if that one person is bein' reall or not.
seriously. Just keep that shtt away from me.
Please.
And
Thank You.
But let's get to the Real Part of This;;
Yes I do Miss You.And Yes i Want you-Just A Little Bit.
But I just don't think i'm ready to get too Googly Moogly.
I admit, Yes once before or twice i was Like that.
Used to do the whole P.D.A thing.
Now, i just think its plain trashy.
But come on' We're Grown about this stuff.
&& We've never been to big on "thinkin' wat if".
So, I'll just let do as it does,
and Let it be Wat it wants to become.
Sweet
Dreams
and
Goodnite.
I
Miss
You.


*Peace.

Freestyle

SESSION!!!
i'm So FXckennn piseed off.
You have NO Clue!
Aalehgildgbienb
last year plans were made for me to go. butt ride had to laggg it!!!
Now this year i was informed to late! its TOMMOROW!! nd on Sunday!!
grr, tommorow, i already aggreed to head to a birthday party.
and sunday, is out of the question!!!


TEAR*TEAR*TEAR!!!
=,[

I'm The One To Blame;;

Now That I'm Around Shxt'll Never Be The Same-Drake.
Killah. Love tht track.
Hmm, Well This Week, though it was good, is just another reminder of how close school is=/
Nontheless, I had a good time. Sucks seein someone you haven't seen ina long time. Cause then you miss them even more. killa. Ha. Still, Had fun though.
might i say it is very very true. everyone, and i mean everyone, is a freak-thats a fact.
I'm mellowed out right now. Just gonnah blast the music and think about everything and anything and then a little bit of nothing.
*Peace.

Some things...

Just Need To Be Posted. Period.



I've been dieng to go to a freestyle sessions:/

This year it HAS to be done.

Afraid of the Dark.?

So I've been thinkin' alot lately, alot.
And idk, i remember my English teacher tellin' me once that people are afraid of Change. I couldn't agree more. Change opens the door to the uknown, the unknown of what will happen in effect of that change. so it made me conclude thats why people are afraid of the dark.
In the dark, One can't see anything. They can only imagine what may lie ahead.
Where there is Nothing, there is a possibility of there being Everything.
But i think of it, and i can't remember ever being afraid of the dark,
i remember my brother pushing me ahead of HIM to turn a light on, and he's about 5 years older than me, not to mention he's a male-duhh.
Honestly, i find the thought of the unknown quite exciting.
I never like staying the way i am, iCrave change.
I remember my friend tellin' me one day wen he was really depressed
"I feel empty".
quite honestly i thought he needed a hug. though i never got the chance to get to him.
now i feel quite opposite of what he described himself.
i feel full i feel so full, that i want to explode. but internally.
soo many emotions crammed in. Don't know which one to release first.
I also believe there are times in my life where i feel...undiscribable.
i think the human mind hasn't quite been able to grasp and write down all the emotions one is able to feel. i think naming them "sad, happy, down, apathetic, Etc." limits what one dares to feel. what about those moments where you don't know what you're feeling, but you kno for certain you've never felt that way before and know that no word you think of can ever define it quite right. and even if you combine the words, they still wouldn't be right.? what about those emotions?
I get the sudden urge sometimes to just drive off to the unknown.
not on the freeway, where eveyrone just wants to go fast, and get there NOW.
but on the streets or highways. Discover what the world has to offer me.
or simply just get away from the place i've grown custom to. why get used to it?
i'm going to leave it all anyways, when i'm gone for sure.
Get away from a place i call "home". Hmm "Home Sweet Home". those words are so decieving.
what if home isn't really "sweet" what if i've just grown used to it.
I remember a wise man once tell me, "How does one know they are lost? Imagine if you had no destination or desire to go anywhere? How would you kno you were lost? In order for one to be lost they have to kno they aren't where they are supposed to be. In order to find the right path, you FIRST have to figure out where you want to go. once you kno where you want to go, you'lll just decide and search how to get there. But what if you don't know where you want to go? What if you just know you don't want to be where you are right now? that still helps. Because that way no matter which road you take you'll take a road that will lead you away from where you are. Afterall if you don't want to be at ur current location, anyplace that road leads you will undoubtebly be better than where you are now."
Hence, i come to conclude -I A m L o s t-i feel the urge to just runaway go cruisn' to wherever the road or gastank is able to take me.
only i don't want to do it alone. I seek my Wandering partner.
Someone just as lost as i am. and just as ravenous to be free and get away.
someone as brave as i am, to take the unknown head on.
*Peace.

"Si manana te vas, manana te olvido.
Si manana me amas, me escapo contigo."

The One That Got Away?

-so guys have one and serial killers have one?
accordin to "smart people".
well is it possible for us females to have one?
yehh i kno, i ask the stupidest questions-i've been told that before.
well last night. or should i say verry early this morning...
was,interesting, to say the least. Jovy, hmmm. I hate it wen u want to help someone, but hesitate to do it, cause he mite not want help. Or wen they want help, but refuse to recognize that help is right in front of them...
grr. like i said last night-Fck Emotions-well at least certain ones.
tired. only slept 3 hrs. last night.
*peace.

+anonymous-Bobby V.
^^haha i had to do it.
:D

So it's Friedday,

And i'm not even high! xD
i'ma StraightEdge Yo.
hmm, well today was supposed to be a wonderfundle filled day.
but for the second time ina row Life Hit Me...Ain't She A B!+^H? Well Yehh I'm a bit Upset, but ayy WatAmIGonnahDo? Nuffin'. IdK, i might be assuming, i tend to do that alot, but egghh i mean the same thing happening again? Maybe It's Just not meant to be. I tell myself that sometmines and right wen i'm convinced other parties beg to differ. *sigh. I'm thinking too much, Stopp Doin that Ali!;grr. Well Let's Move On. On A Bright Note: I've been kickboxing and joggin and eating slightly More Nutritious Than Average. Ha And I Am Proud To Say;;It's Paying Off! Woot-Woot! Yayy thats Just More Motivation To My Soul!:]
Well Thats A Slight Update For Today.
*Peace.

So Now wat do i do?

#sigh#
i've just done wat i've told myself i shouldn't do,
and promised myself i wouldn't.
*Cough* yes i STILL have my V-Card, you nasties.
just a ittle bittle confused where my road will lead to now.
HAHA WELL AIN'T THAT A SURPRISE?!
anyhooters; My daysscation to Westminster was relaxxin' iss nice to actually be able to wake up a few minutes later than usual.
not to fret i stell kept up w/ my physical routine, ahumm, i was in the lead while joggin, thank you very much!:P
interestin people to say the least:]
lol.
b-b-back before u kno it.
ohhh and i "tag" now? since i'ma bit on the small side.
i'm "[M&M]"-Funsized<-haha i kno.
whoo, i guess i had more moments than i though. the more the merrier.
can't wait to go b a c k. but i'm afraid it'll be a good minute.
fckkin work. lol.
jay kay. i'll figure somethin' out.
well yehh just had to kinda get "that" out, u wouldn't kno wat i'm sayin'
but thats how i prefer, just havin' these ittle bittle fingers movin' helps alot.
haha.
for ur auditory pleasure:

*&Peace;

I love it wen u cross my Mind.

my jam as of right now.<3
Luda Luda.
i love me some Ludacris.

haha so its the 4th of July! woot,?
mhmm rite, idkk today i'm not feelin it. it's just another day for me,
maybe because i just got off work, (5:30) and i'm gonnah go back at 8eight//i'm gettin home perhapss at 12Twelve? its cool though, like i said;; i'd rather make some cake then watch some fireworks. i mean they look the same every year??
hahah

*peace.

Wheeww d[>.<']b

i'm in love<3.

Happy Fathers Day MOM.

Fckk it. wow, mmm today haha i was at work, but i hardly even noticed it was fathers day until one of my co-workers said it to a customer. Nahh but really, if anyone deserves to be said "happpy..anything" it's deffinitely not that Sperm Donor, which i refuse to give the title of "dad" to anymore. A couple minutes ago i was talkin' to my moms about this, Not the whole "sperm donor" thing, though i did mention it. But about Men, ohh yess the most popular topic among mother and daughter, and yess boyss we DO talk SHIT on you guys, lots of it;; so stop wondering. haha. but this is a seriouse topic. I knew my moms life has been mmm messed up, i just didn't kno it was that fckkd up! if i were to give a short summary of it, it would consist of mostly two words: Pain and Suffering. oh and Fckkd up. Well anyways, i kno its fathers day and all, but i could care less, i just need to get this out there... Men are Fckkin Stupid. and yes i kno i'm not being "Fair" on the handful that are honest out there. But seriously the ones that are worth it out there, i would be pissed off at the knuckleheads that consider themselves "men", and are the reason alot of women have given up on the Male Population. Well if you "men" are gonnah feel bad for us Women, us INDEPENDENT women, then go fckin cry a river somewhere else, Yes, i hope its clear to you guys that a Lady Does NOT need a "man" to survive, and though it might hurt we WILL make it through, shit we make it through labor, we can take anything on.
But this is Goin Directly to the stupid Sperm having creature that decided to mess w/ my mom, mmm yess marriage, ughh it's frustrating and troublesome.
but thats the problem this little boy;; cause thats wat he is, judging by his actions;' decides he can handle being with a REAL WOMAN(my moms), and now since things aren't goin' to hott, he thinks he need time to "think", like r u serious? umm you should have "thought" before you fckin' got married. seriously, this dude was BEGGIN' my mom to be with him, i'm talkin knockin on the front door, with tears runnin down his eyes on his Knees beggin. mmmhm. and now he thinks he can just up and leave? sorry bobo, ur screwed. haha. but then my moms started thinkin' Fck HIM. if he wants to leave, he can leave. we'll make it.
Words spoken from a TRUE champion.
and that is why all my strength, inspiration, perseverance, "ganas", and wisdom
is thnks to moms.
Love you<3//

-Happy b-day Jovy.

-Angels game tommorow.

*PeaCe.

WTF?!

Tony Park is gonna be a babby daddy?
Gett out!
haha, well congrats kool kat.
and a Happy Early Fathers day to you.


*On another note;
hmmm, Fathers Day. i have to say, mmm i'm not gettin'
a present for my father this year.
if i did i'm pretty sure he'd just say i'm a "hypocrit".
strangely though, i feel like he wants to recieve one,
even if it means he'll recieve one just to reject it...
like he doesn't want to feel like he's completely lost us.
yeah and the "son" he still has, which doesn't even bother to call him.
and the one he's kissin' ass to, yeah i'm sure he's not
gettin' him nuttin either. oh the irony.
But wat are you gonna do?
i hate sayin' it but its wat i feel;
at times i do feel like a hypocrit, i TRY to have faith,
and i'm pretty hopefull at alot of things, but seriously, wen it comes to believing my father will change, that to me; is unimaginable. like whoaa, he's been who he's been for a while now, mmm maybe his whole life?
it's like hoping his eyecolor will someday change, but not only that, praying to God that instead of brown eyes, he miraculously will have blue ones.
But hey, I mean Jesus made a blind man see, so that gives me hope.
What scares me the most is i sometimes feel like i don't want him to change,
it's scary how sometimes my ability of being inhumane is strong.
honestly i can say right now, i don't miss him. and the thought of that makes me hurt, shouldn't i miss him? i mean he gave me my life, am i truly unappreciative? am i really that crow he always told me i was?
"raise crows and they'll eat your eyes out".
who knows. thats just some food for thought, thats never been digested.


Happy fathers day


*peace.

The Royal Street.

La Rue Royale
out w/ the simple V-neck, cop urself one (ladies sizes,sorry boys).
only 25 a pop.


La Rue's Site(clickity click)

*whistle whistle whistle*
...if i told you things i did before
told you how i used to be...
would you go along w/ someone like me?
if u knew my story word for word, alot of my history.
would u go along w/ someone like me?..
&&+
We don't care about the young folks.
nd we don't care about the old folks.
and we don't care about or own faults.
all we care about is talkin, talkin only me annd Yooouuu.
^^stuckk in my head: Young Folks- Peter Bjorn nd John.

Yaayyyy Summer is Officially(at least for me)
exacttly 5 Dayz away.
Fckkk Finalz.<-yehh right i'm gonna studdy my ass of this weekend.
Summerz gonnah be bombb. Beach Bum? Much.

*Peace.

Feelin' like a Vegtable...

i didn't think anyone could top this track off, but idk.
This song got me caught between Jackie/Kudi's version.
haha i'm not decidin', but damn Big Sean; Finally Famous.



*Peace.


&& i've been tryin to download the mixtape, but all the links i klick say
the sites been redirected or removed.
Yeah, help would bee apreeciated:)

haha this ones for the kidderr

Jovy.
Self-explanatory.
get a life!. nothin but love:)

Styles P - Good Times(I get high) - Styles P - Good Times(I get high)

i get high-styles p

We ain't slept in weeks.

Love this track. buggin' on cudi's verse though, i need the lyrics.
So i took the time to go in and try to get them down.
Please excuse the errors.

hook:rollin' rollin' rollin' we ain't slept in weeks.
RepeatX8

Cudi:word, i can't feel the left side of my face
stressfull thoughts up in replace.
where henny and coke and yager man.
jackie told me put my brakes, i told him pass me somethin to pop,
told me not to smoke my weed,
i-i should listen (but i can't stop)
grabbin models by the arm, i tell em to fck w/ moon man
they don't even trip on my agression
they just slowly take my hand
then they open up and say "do you want to play with me?"
i-i-i say baby i'm all about it my hotel is down the street
this is kinda how it is when your livin' young and fast
manners? playin' live, btches dancin' shakin ass
? try and pass the blunt, i told him that i might have to pass
cause if i decide to smoke i-i-i will float to ?land
but my man if that so bad, dippin from reality
i try and tell my nigga man whiskey, i hope my mom ain't mad at me
my lifestyle is a wild life with style
and my brain on drugs i won't stop until i'm numb
tellin' myself the night is young

hookX8

Breathe.

Gaaahhh dammnn,
Have i mentioned i have a new manager? well I DO. goshh he's one , arrogant, demanding, full of himself, muthafazoid. Nd i no i'm not wrong cause everyone at work feels tensed up since he's been here. not gonna lie though, he CAN be chill, when he doesn't have something up his a$$. Pardon my french, i kno my momma taught me better than that. ha relax, breathe:)
just had to get that out there. thanxx.
anyhooters, this is prolly not knew, doubt it is, but idigss.
Chec it.
Rollin Remix-Jackie Chain and mr.Cudder.

Last night i heard the most touching story.
but it's not really a story b/c its real;;
it was about self sacrifice or sacrificial love.
my youth minister's mom had gotten her hip replaced, for like the 3rd time,
but thats not relevant to the story, anyways she was in the hospital,
and she was sharing rooms with this other lady, the nurse told her it would be as if she had her own room though, b/c the woman on the other side of the curtain had been
in a coma for 9 years.
surprisingly though her husband came to see her everyday,come EVERYDAY!!<-is that clear?
well yeah it would take him like an hour in the bus to get to
the hospital,
he would bathe her, put body lotion on her, brush her hair,
even PAINT HER NAILS, about 3 hours dedication,
and while he did this he would say things like,
"u look so beautiful today." or "ur the most beautiful person"
he would even come all dressed up to see his wife, ha, i can imagine him all dressed up, yooh kno how old folks dress. with his little bow, and suspenders, cute.
while i'm hearing this, i can't help but think
THATS REAL LOVE.
i mean 9 years? everyday?
those two folks right there. they had it made, the fck w/ other ishh. they had paradise with them, as long as they had each other.
I deeply wish that in my liftetime i'll meet someone as caring and loving as that man.
true story. no bull. its amazing what love does.


*Peace

Tony P.

i just HAD to write about you, again.
haha j/k.
btw;; wats up with the delay on the blog? I'm waiting, Patiently. haha. well yehh, yooh need to get started and come out with another "episode" of ur "show":D haha the first one i saw was pretty funny.
Thee blog.Clickity-Click.

"they say the species that is unable to change is the species that eventually becomes deceased."-Tony Park.

hmm, this is true,litteraly, "survival of the fittest". i remember learning it in Bio. No kidding? yeh, i actually do learn. I don't want to lose a dime, so i pay attention:)

its been a while. it feels good. been busy lately. but i'm not "Complaining".
Cause it's what i want to do. and why complain about that?

*Peace.

Change.

its what i need. it's wat i most fear. yet it's wat i most demand of. I keep asking from people, keep demanding from them. but wen it comes down to it, am i willing to give up as much as i'm asking for? i honestly wish i could say yes. B/c that would be the rite answer, yet it wouldn't be the truth. its like having a million dollars in front of yooh, and needy homeless person right next to yooh. But i'll be honest, b/c i'm Human, and i have mixed emotions, and i kno i'll find those answers right after i find Atlantis. ha. Never.
Nahh, i dont think i'm ready to sacrifice, not yet, i just suck at letting things go. i'm scared to change. b/c i'm too comfortable with the person i've become.
it's like that old pair of sneakers that look oh soo hideous, or that pair of pants, they are just soo horendous, and yet i still wear them, i've grown into them and they've adjusted to my shape. they feel right. but i kno they are just soo wrong. and i have to throw them away. but i'm just too used to them. damn..fckemotions.

*+Peace.

I miss my

Buttcheex:/
Dang. Can't belieeve time has gone by so fast.
don't get me wrong, i am more than happy that yooh have someone in your life that yooh so desperately were seeking. but i just feel like you've totaly X'd me out of your life. mmm selfish, yehh i mite sound like it. Jealous, it may come off liek that. But Longing, is more like it. A fone call now and then mite be appreciated. But now i'm frettin' the fone call might be for ur funeral. and Damn, if that was the case, i wasn't even informed on the arrangements? see, X'D out!...I remember yooh used to come to my house out of the blue. at first it was just too give ur boy a ride to see me, ha at the time u were just a mutual friend. Funny, how u turned out to be like a guardian to me, not like a bodyguard, more like a lifeguard. And as mutual friends go, yooh met one of mine, yooh digged her, she dugg yooh and now yooh call her your boo. But as the time where we were strong meets its anniversary i can't help but remember out times. and i can't blame it all on yooh, b/c if i realy wanted i could still have yooh here with me. But i don't want to cause yooh those un-needed misunderstandings. i just hope yooh still have the understanding that i care deeply for yooh, and i miss yooh.


*Peace.

and i'm sorry.

for hoping wat i did was right. and evidently ending up doing the exact opposite. sorry for being selfish, cause yeah i have been, not gonnah lie. Sorry for letting my emotions get the best of me. i hate those emotions.they mess w/ my head. Sorry, for hurting yooh, and then regretting it cause i care. sorry for caring. Sorry for not wanting to let go. Sorry for getting attached in the first place. Sorry, for not meeting your expectations. Sorry for making yooh think yooh had expectations. Sorry for believing i was extraordinary. Sorry for apologizing these mistakes right now, and in the future commiting the exact same ones. Sorry for being human. But it's just it, i AM human. i kno right? it shouldn't be an excuse. but it's the only one i can find as of this moment. I'm working on becoming a robot, so that way i'll have NO emotions, and everything i do will be right. I'll keep yooh updated on the progress.

*Peace.

La La La;;

i feelll on top of thee worlld with myy babbaayyy.
LMFAO^^

mmm the day backk intooo societty isn't that baddd.
haha but can't believe i'm where i'm at rightt now.
whaaahh??
haha ehhhh eyedeekay.
i guesss i'm not fully recoveredd yet...
wateverr as long as i make it to thursdayy i'll be thankfull.
wohoooo can't wait till thursday<333
bell justtt rangg.

*Peace

*oh yaa*

i Fixeddd my problem with the flashh playaa.
haha not gunna tell yooh how.
causee it'll make me look dumberr thann dummber.
but yeah all it took was a click
:]

*Peace.

Todayy i...

Woke Up Quick At About Six.
And I Noticed I Had to Be Outta Here Soon.
A Few Moments Later My Cough Started Steppin.
Sooo; I Stayed In Bed, And Rested My Sleapy Head.
A Couple Minutes Ago I Finished With Breakfast.
Made My Second Round Of Tea.
And As Calm As Can Be.
This Day Off Is Much Needed.

Tonaayyy peee.

"I just want to give them pride and show them the right way,
show them that even though its rainy outside, its still a nice day."
-Tony Park.

gggrrrrrrr!!!!

Wheres GEEK SQUAD wen yooh needd them??!!
feeling like smashinn the computerr.
ha. actually i guess it's my fault.
since i'm not sooo technologically smarttt.
anywaysss problem izzz...
downloaded new internet explorer.
sooo now i have to get new flashplayer,
to listen to my music and view the vids.
wellll....trying to download it and the pop up winderrrr doesn't pop up. soo i hit the yellow bar at the top but it only saidss "manage add-ons" andd i'm like whhaadaafuhhh?? what's that?! yeahh. why can't it justt say "temporarily allow popups"?
fuhhhhnn keennn ayyyy!!!
help?:/

If iRuled the world;

I wouldn't rule it alone.


*currently in the mood with*: L.A.U.S.D. - ‘iFeel ft. Miss Jack Davey & Blu’

Are yooh sexy?

haha, are yooh serious?
groww uppp.!
mmm today was mellow.
early out. cahsee testing for the sophies.
mmmm in the library.
gonnah head to tutor sooon. gahhh.
i sooo badly want to say wat i'm going to say.
but i woon't say it. i won't let myself believe it. if i believe it.
i wont admit it.
being bussy was a good thing for me, is a good thing, but...
yeah but. idkk yet. i just feel like it's not whatt's right.
let me search for wat's right.
my thoughts seem to be IN-N-OUT.
no hamburger.

*Peace.

Can;t believe I slept on this;;

DRAKE.
wattaaafahh?!?
seriously heard him a while back.
butt didn't payy close attention to the music.
now i look at new stuff he's tooken out.
and DANG;
dear ears,
i apologize for making yooh suffer.
Not allowing yooh to rejoice with
the soundss of Drake.
shame on me.
haha.
gettt overr it.

____________________
it's beeen a mellow day.
if yooh ask me i deserved it,
after having such a stressfull week.
tommorow; i am looking forward to seeing the performances.
hopefully wat i left behind did not
turn out to be disasterous.
G'nite.
PEACE.

haha he'sss

Freakiinnggg CUTE
wat;; i'm attracted to Asians, preferablyy pinoy, and black guys:)
WattttYoohhhGonnnaaahDoo?!

*Peace.

Staples.

False Advertising
*forr reals.
stuppid button.
Nothins easier.*

"I guess that i'm a little bit in love with you;
but only if you're a little bit in love with me"

*Peace.

sitting, looking.

hmmm, i'm in the library. ha, but it's not quite.
theres a whole lot goin on, with this after-school tutorial and all. i don't mind that it's not quite, i like it that way. it makes me feel cozy actually, i feel glad that alot of people actually care about their education and take time from their day to come help kidos out and kids actually come to get the help. This is wat a caring looks like. today i heard about a girl, Annete Cruz, who was getting her masters degree and was going to start teaching. wow. right. well thing is when she was younger you could point at her and say she was the epitome of what a failure looked like, now she can point her finger and prove everyone wrong. I'm not gonna write a bio of what she did, cause truthfully, i don't kno it. but i do kno that she made many, many, many, mistakes. sooo, i'm sitting in class thinking, well hmmm. i kno i've made mistakes but the consequences haven't been as severe as what she's had to deal with. so i say to myself; Hell YEAHH, that means i can slackk offf:D haha nahh j/k. it makes me even more motivated to do things right, if she is where she is at regardless her mistakes. i can go even fartherr withouth the mistakes she made.
i just need to stop being lazy at times.<- that shall be one of my main goals. i used to be good at not being lazy, i got to workk and finished it. now i' guess i'm just not that into it. I just don't kno what the matter is.

P.S; still waiting to see if i will ever encounter that one person that will prove myself wrong, if i don't ever find him/her. does that mean i've been right??
ha, food for thought<3

&& my face is shining.

on a cloudy day:)
thank yooh.yeahh yeahh i kno yooh that i kno that i miss yooh.
cause' "i kno, i kno, i kno".
haha Muuaahhh!;]
-♥

I need a

HUG!
it seems everyone is goin through a hard time.
i hate to admit it;
but i've been in one, internally, for a while now. The part that irritates me the most is i have no fXckinn clue of wat is making me feel like this. i just kno that i feel like shit inside, and on the outside i fake the funk that i'm fine. It's like i'm trying to convince myelf that things ARE fine, fake it till yooh make it? Time heals all wounds? ehhh idk about this one; what if not the wound, but knowing the scar will stay is what hurts the most? At times i feel unhuman, at times i feel like i've been goin w/ my day w/ no emotions or thoughts worth rethinking. At times i feel like breaking free and not giving a cookie crumb. problem is, i do care. I care and think about wat would happen aftter. The problem isn't drugs, an overdose, or a drink; the problem is that i think.

realization.

Up until this moment,i can't believe i even cared.
I realize now wat ur "tests" mean to me.
I.d.g.a.f about them.
and i'm not talkin about school.
it's directed to yooh, and everyone else.
if i fail them all it's just a pleasure to me.
it's just proving yooh wrong.
cause i'm not the person your expecting or want me to be.
i'm just proving to yooh i'm not the person your looking for.
and i love it.
i want to be the person nobody is searching for,
but have everyone wishing they found me first.
i'll fail all your tests and stil get an 'A'.
i want to be unseen,
but still be a threat like a submarine.
once i show up i'm a killing machine.
confusing is it?
good, i love being missunderstood.
i.d.g.a.f, yooh can quote me on that.

untitled.

"I'm too young to be doing wat i do, but i'm doing wat i do, and i'm doing it well."-Tra'id.
&& i have yet to find that one person who will break down everything i say and prove me wrong. to prove to me that i want to be Understood. NOT missunderstood. But 'till that day and person comes, i'm gonna LOVE being missundersttood. none of the fella'z deserve to see the depth of me. there all selfish and self-centerd. i'm not sayin i'm gonna stop doin wat i do, not to fret kido'z; I'll still be giving yooh my time and undivided care.
-peace.

day forty?

&& the days creep in. hmm this weather so cold it's burning.

day thirty four.

"can humans lose thier humanity?"
this started off as nothing but an essay topic. but then it really got me thinking.
I looked back, and dang finaly history class had some use to me. Its the proof that humans HAVE lost their humanity before. and yet we still keep at it. i mean haven't we done enough yet? sadly the answer sprang only too quickly than i would have liked it. NAHH we've but just begun. The deeper into the deeper my sadness sinked in. but yooh see one, or at least i, can not stay in a state of pessmism for too long. soo i began too look at the brighter side. haa i mean are we not gonnah die in 4 years?
2012? yeahh some ppl are drinking it up not giving a f*ck. and well let's be honest they just use as an excuse to carry on w/ their normal time waisting life, and be able to say " we're gonna die so let's live it up". see if our world is dead in that year. it will be thanks to those kinds of ppl, who chose not too change the world. they just take everything society gives them and swallow it. let it digesst, and ready for more. but they don't taste it, don't care much if they like it or not. well i like to eat and if i don't like wat i taste i ask for something better.
well i look at this world ending. amd hmm perhaps it will die but i have hope it will
rebirth into a better nation or watever it is that we live on these days.

Day dirty two.

hmmm, Lies.

Day 30

Dr.Hollywoodd

"I got paradise on call."
haha start it off. Good morning:D today i woke up on the right side of the bed. well yeah my current favorite song is "we run la" by Dr.hollywood. i love the beat and his voice. ha. just gonna make it short and sweet today. have a whole day ahead of me that i don't plan on wasting. don't have plans yet but my whole life iz an improv.
peace.

day twenty seven.

Today was easier than i thought it would be.
My trig final only brought up ONCE the problem that i was most dreading. thankyooh:) geez i am very hopefull that i rock'd it! seriously need that boost. on a painful note; my upper leg hurts, during dance pulled off a silly move and pulled my leg instead. felt more like a cramp though.bleehh not sure wat i did. the point is...it hurts. hmmm i guess i just need to stretch it out, i love stretching. Englishh final was aightt, wasn't excited for it. i'm excited for this week to end. 'Cause next week, brings new begginings! charrley, i'm makin the best of it. haha.
"it's always the right time to do wat's right" MLKJr.

Day twenty five.

"I kno muthafu'z tht kno muthafu'z"-Notorious.
haha.Movie was legit. Last night, was dope. But apparently i had a newsflashh: I'm one Mean Bean.haha. Tonight? gaahhh so tempted to go to D&B's butt tryin to be responsible and study for finals. hmmm wat if i convince to postone to another day? mmm perhapss possible; but eyedeekay?? Yaayy thinkin bout' it. Every day gets me closer to where i want to be. woot woot. This year has been very good to me so far. verry good indeed. well off too studyy. gaahh i need that boost:)

day nineteen.

"Now i'm my own best friend and i've betrayed myself and such; This goez to prove therr ain't noone yooh can trust"-Ali.g
haha watt a negative quote.for sucha fantastic day....grrr. just remeberd i didn't fullfill wat i proposed myself to do. But it'z ok cause i would only need to do it if today did not go well.and i went...grantabolous!!haha mall.yes.cousins.yes.cutiez.yes.movies.yes.notorious.yes.fun.yes.life.yes.i can truthfully say that the dayz w/ cousins are the ones w/ the most lastin memories.haha.and goshh Moses, do yooh really think yooh can get my girl like that!? nahh hun, them trikz don't work for us Gonzalez.Try harder next time. But now really excited for this weekend. 15 perhapz? maybe:) well peace. headin out to finish unfinishd bidnezz.
"nothings ever promised tommorow today"

day eighteen.

Dope.Last night was feeling a lil' blue. thankz be to all of those that bared w/ me:)today i made a total 180 degree turn. I am feeling great! Up for anything. And yeah about the pic? I'm pretty excited for this seasons ABDC 3. Should be nice. So i am just about headin out to work. Bleehh i know. But wenever i arrive my coworkers always put a smile on my face. i have alot to thank them too. especially Leo. haha onee funny dude. Along w/ my positive Aura i feel like accomlishing something that can only be accomplished wen one feels as i am feeling rite now. && gonnah try real hard to not pussy out. Fingerss crossed. haha.

"Real Talk. PEOPLE ARE WACK AS FUCK NOWADAYS!"-k.g.

hahaa idkk why this made smile. today.
well credit for first smile of the day goes to: K.G<3

day seventeen.

"I'm walking away;When i should be running..."-uknown.
blaahhh. Today. was today.N'uff said. I feel like i'm growing distant to God. I remember back when i actually felt a spark in my heart that i was drawn to. Now i yearn for that light but Closer i try to get to it, the colder i get. The only person that comes to mind is S____, He would kno wat to do. Hmmm, it doesn't make it any better that society iz advertising love and sweet smelling roses. Especially when i have a stuffy nose. Guess this year i'm not smellin the flowers. Oh yeahh. And i've decide that i'd rather have a big mess of life, than life being a big mess. I can clean up a mess.
"NOTHING you do could make me love you less"

It is wat it is. We do wat we have to do in order to do wat we want to do.

day "douze"

"Not even Kodak Had a better FRAME then you girl"
ohhh Mister Tre Williamz. What a character yooh are:] haha like i said "your the sun...you bring the sunshine to my day, in every possible way".&& yess no need to lie cause yooh already know. haha. On another note; Today was gaaahhh hectic. Woke up at 6:19 A.M had to leave at 6:30 A.M which gave me about 10 minz to get ready, no need to say i looked like i got dressed in the dark. Yes yes, felt shitty. But i need to smile and get wit it. Tommorow is new day, forsherz gettin a head start and not ignore that alarm clock ;D
*mmmm breakfast tuesday*
peace.love.goodnight.