Life is short...

and it's probably for the better.
Sometimes when I'm going through a hard time I really take a step back from my position and look at my life and I sort of have a dialogue with myself. It always ends back to this simple truth: It's not the end of the world. And depending on how you take that truth, it's either a good thing or a bad thing.
Most problems are fixable. Yeah, they might require some money, time, or energy, but there is a solution. The solution is not always the most desired or enjoyable, which is what causes some stress on your life.
Oftentimes, I get to thinking that if this problem of mine DID happen to be the end of me, like the end of the world or something, that it wouldn't really be that bad. If the world is ending, then nothing really matters, if nothing really matters then my problem isn't a problem...so problem solved (more like destroyed). Idk if this is how people who don't give a fuck think or how lazy people think. But it's really how I remain sane in this pursuit of a better life.
The more I think about what I want in life, the more and more I realize that for someone in my circumstances I'm kind of shooting at a void. Grades are not all there, and so far it seem like a have so many disadvantages that make me want to just quit. But of course, that's kind of my  downfall, is that I'm hopeful beyond reality. And sometimes that's been helpful, but other times I've been disappointed. I guess at this point there's no turning back in pursuing what I want because I'm more than half way there, so it would have all been a waste of time. Practice what you preach and alladat bullshit.